why do i feel disgusted when someone touches me

I have even spent the past 5 years secretly drinking in the evenings in hope that a strong buzz will relieve my anxieties and help me get the job done. Web7. Were looking for help. Maybe you can get to this place too the healing and purging the negative energy stored in your body (if you dont believe it, listen to your thoughts and reactions to men and love) . Still love her, just dont like her anymore (if that makes any sense). Definitely see at least a marriage counselor, even if you go alone. I have been this way for most of my adult life, not because anything bad happened to me or I had a bad experience, I guess I am just one of those unfortunate people for whom sex is kind of like a turn off to me. It doesnt cause me much anxiety. I feel utterly repulsed by sex with him & am not even going to do anything to change that. she has been going through this problem for 8 years now she says she doesnt even love me anymore as a sexual partner/ romantic partner. Me, I just wanted to listen to 50s music, and watch The Golden Girls haha. I am so lost. WebWhy do I feel disgust towards someone? Ive been married for almost 37 years and live my husband so much. Sexual aversion does not happen in a vacuum. Only thing now is, I felt I was manipulated..bc he said and acted liked he wanted the same very things I did. I can relate to a lot of your post. Its a terrible problem really. Fake it till you make it is bad advice I was given (my now wife was pregnant and we had to get married by our families). BUT (IF) youre Not bringing him satisfaction , then ARE YOU teasing him, and WHY? I have the same symptoms like you but my familylife is a breeze. Its become normal. Married going on 53 years, but I gave up sex with wife 40 years ago. Please think about this. And he stomped out the door after that flat refusal. He just doesnt understand or listen to me. I sensed that she had lost her physical affection for me and I was afraid to ask. I will offer one piece of advice that was given to me. The mind remembers what you went through, but what we dont realize is that the body remembers as well. But, this seems to be such a common problem in relationships. I guess it all boils down to extreme insecurity. I myself have been rape multiple times. He also talks about sex about 20 times a day. Those are the only 2 options she is giving me. - Quora Answer (1 of 2): Thats sad to hear. Trying to get back into the groove of things, I just want to feel like everyone else. (Weve periodically had an open relationship, and she hasnt had this response with other lovers.) Things started getting bad when my wife became pregnant with our first child 11 years ago. The effect varies, depending on how serious the cause, was/is/has been. Although I don't think this is an enormous problem in my life, I find it sad that I can't even stand it when my loved ones touch me. Whens the last time you got some? 3 years ago. The list goes on. Do other women on this forum feel like she does? My foot was not off the aircraft ten minutes when we discovered he was going to set back the vacation scheduals for hundreds because he wanted his three weeks the day I flew in. I notice that female commenters get lots of love and support for their stories, male commenters, even those bringing up very sad tales of sexual issues get no response. She will begin by spending some alone time, thinking of me, and writing down the feelings that present themselves as anxiousness, or negativity. its a freaking fantasy your optimism on amazing men out there . IM LOVELESS AND BITTER AND DONT CARE TO TRY AGAIN. And i cant seem to get it thru his head, that I still love him and want top be with him, Married for 10 yrs.I moved out of our house 8 months ago. I find sex disgusting. How do you discern between asexuality as a sexual orientation and sexual aversion/anxiety as a disorder? ive been to therapy and it hasnt been any help. :). She is the only person in my life literally, and figuratively, and I dont expect that there will be any sex involving penetration, but I do long to hold and caress her feet. Every time you catch yourself thinking something negative, stop that thought and intentionally think of a positive thought to replace it. I was also able to get of antidepressants without him in my life. Maybe its because, that instead of hugging me when hes by me, he grabs my ass or breast instead. They felt yes he should get a job from the corporation but he should start as a probate if they could not get him to reenlist in one of the military services. You almost have a condescending tone and thats the last thing she needs to hear. it was the refit after that that my husband was diagnosed. Not desiring sex is just thatnot desiring sex. I am just praying that its over. This is all done, with the hope that the brain will rewire the previous links. Is it normal if I like to do things to my boyfriend but I hate being touched myself? HEARTBROKEN MAYBE BUT I DONT WANT TO FEEL ANYTHING THAT RELATES TO LOVE INCLUDING SEX. He is emotionally unavailable. And later, I fantasize about what could have/should have been, yet continue to miss these opportunities. That is entirely consistent with someone having sexual aversion issues that arent perhaps the most extreme they could be. I.AM.SORRY. I do believe it is just guilt. My suggestion before you get consumed in hatred (I was that too), go back to doing the sh#t you loved when you were 6 years old. Moreover, are there any blokes reading that can empathise at all? A partner can enjoy being touched and other acts even if they have to finish things off themselves, it is down to the people engaging in the activities to define what is comfortable and works for them. Third: You state that if shes not willing to do it , you will have to get it elsewhere. Just an everyday individual. seriously. I decided to force my BF of 13 years leave and dive headfirst into my faith pleading with God to help me and pull me up out of the awful mire of that life and he DID! The other day I told him he could not tell a friend that if they got within a mile of outr home they would be shot, I was trying to get him to let go of his riffle, He did and I broke my hip and he took his riffle to the gate to enforce what he had said. Other parts of the relationship have still been good but I sometimes get a deep longing for what we used to have and tears just wash over me. I absolutely hate the idea of sex and can not for the life of me explain it. The limp dick syndrome is what that is. Im a Christian and feel it is my duty to be available to my husband, but I feel like I am going crazy. There is no satisfaction in it whatsoever. I got to get this mess figured out. Thats on you, but take care of yourself as well. After about 2 weeks, we managed to have sex. I have often wondered if there was someone else and even told him I would leave if he wanted. I didnt push. How it feels for me when Im having sex or even when I just think about it, it feels like a bolt of electricity runs through my body and stuns me while something also stabs my stomach. stuck in a cycle of feeling out I asked, If the things youre doing to your boyfriend are sexual in nature, and My wife and I have been married for 6 year monday. His father told me to stay out of sight the first week he was home or the plan he had to force my husband back to the service would fail. my husband will not coinsider any one now. I remember one time, when I used to waitress and this girl came up to the register. Dont feel bad if you cant take it anymore. I cannot believe more ppl have this issue. There are a few things in your post that strike a nerve with me. I didnt have the courage to tell her that I felt rejected and unloved. Im a happily married man, I love my wife and Im only 29. Some men all they think about is sex, sex, sex. I obviously have realized this is not normal, but until I ran across a few articles like this , I was just plagued with a guilt that was leading me into a depression. My wife and I of 6 years, always had very limited passion and the sex was always fine. I think it stands alone in such instances as sexuak attractiveness, desire, and participation. Are you still with your husband? I imagine she loves you dearly. My husband pressured me for 31 years: It was if I allowed sex the flood gates would open on everything else he wanted in his life and people would get hurt in the process if I allowed what he wanted. Is that something you would ever consider? WebSudden Repulsion Syndrome is your body coming to its senses. if a man even looks at me with a hint of wanting, I am out of that room faster then flash! HE Ended up aknowlegding those needs leaving a bloody trial of broken people when they interfered with him. My wife put limitations on our sex life. In my own life I have found healing by treating my aversion as an addiction. It is ending my marriage as we speak. Tell her that your needs are not being fulfilled and tell her that you need her to sacrifice some things in order for your relationship to remain. I want to be with the guy, I really enjoy sex but this response kills the moment along with my sex life. I cant even enjoy bjs. An aversion to sex as Ive come to believe is that an individual just does NOT have any interest in, nor desire for sex at any level. It doesnt help that my husband of 13 years doesnt show affection til he wants to play. I would not place any value or importance on being in love with another until after having experienced life to the fullest first. You should not feel bad about the way you feel about sex/affection any more than he should feel badly about wanting it. Yeah like women dont want to have sex willingly heck most woman are the pursuers. They are experiencing an aversion toward sex. So after about 10 years and just gave up with her. Now I shutter at the thought of faking it and go out of my way to avoid contact at all. I try to start on the steps to get better however I have been going through this with my husband and I have tried to set boundaries as one of the steps indicate what do I do if my husband doesnt respect the boundaries I set and makes me feel that I have no choice and make him happy but giving into him and having sex with him or telling him that there are curtain kinds of sexual acts that I do not like and will never do he still asks for them. Mine came on all of the sudden during intercourse one day. i feel guilty as my partner gets angry but all of a sudden is like that part of me died?? Men are Satan. A few examples would be that if I was ever in a room alone with a romantic partner of mine, I would get physically ill and nervous about what might happen. about 5 years ago I went outside our marriage for sex. I am 27yrs old. Im NOT sure that in such cases an aversion to sex would be a proper description of this conditional behavior. I avoid date nights and sometimes even instigate arguments or bring up topics that I know will lead to a heated discussion in an effort to give myself an excuse not to want to have sex. I couldnt have said it better myself. The comments about porn are wow. Disgusting is talking about others behavior or charectistic means you are affecting from others like: a disgusting smell, distasteful language, revolting food. If a person cannot stand to be touched sexually (or any other way), this should be viewed as a problem and treatment should be sought. Aaarrgh. for my part I wasnt trying to have an affair, just sex. In short, I doubt I will ever allow a man to touch me again. But alot of people that have this problem are inward people who dont like to share there emotions or feelings on a dayly basis. We ailed in total to get him to reenlist at that time. It is society that is defective. Each to their own. If I had known that a man would feel so much hate and despise everyone for making him see to their needs before his. You may also be covering up a fear of not knowing what to do if youre approached for sex. In this case, your husband should try to understand you and give you the support you need to seek help. To be honest.. Keeping in mind that pushiness, will only lead to more damaging results. after my husband kicked the front door in on top of me, and he was not hurt but four young men were laying in the street, yard and front porch dying. She found an article on sexual aversion, and she was excited to see information she could relate to. No husband who is totally in love with their wife and emotionally available will 2. There is nothing wrong with either of you, just as I know there is nothing wrong with my wife, whom I love desperately (as I suspect that your husband does you). Instead of forcing his time for one that summer I lived at my mother the next two year while my husband father got him put under a court order requiring him to go to the court for his vacation request which for the next 13 years was never granted In 2000 hedecided he did not care what the court bwas going to or not going tio grant he was going to Bavareria with me over the milliniall holiday after the most horrible argument and my offer when we returned we would see to it he got time out of the plant He did not have to defy the court and the community over the holiday we would talk things through after the new century and try and find ways to go some place nice, If you have every heard the way a sailor can make you feel less than an inch tall it was one of those times He flattened the first two deputies that showed up to take him into custody then the next two caught him chasing his father around and two other men who tried to restrain him and they tassed him to his kneess. I feel like Im going crazy trying to reconcile my deep longing for her and her detachment and unwillingness to face the issue. I want to want to have sex and be intimate, but it just makes me feel so disgusting. Its completely a sexual aversion issue. the real heart of the matter runs far deeper. Relationships are not for everyone they are currently not for me havent been for a super long time. If this sounds like you or your partner, it may be a case of sexual aversion. I was offering to keep any one from being hurt when he took that position, Mainly him and me. I learned to avoid physical contact with him, because he was going to demand sex if I dared even hold his hand. We just process things differently and this is step one to figuring out this side of us. Im sorry you have to deal with all that but dont sacrifice your mind for someone who doesnt understand. They enjoy that their partner enjoys the experience even if it isnt something they personally want to experience. When you numb these feelings or brush them off you end up pushing them down and never truly healing. Thats so interesting that you mention Misophonia Matt, as I suffer from sexual aversion and have misophonia and misokenisia. I feel now that it was caused by Body Dysmorphic Disorder and not feeling like anyone would find me attractive. I was a plug to even think of going back into his world. I guess i will have to look for some online advice, i live in southamerica in a country where the kind of therapy available does not cover this issue very well (psychoanalysis/psychodynamic therapy is very popular here and the issue of sexual aversion is not very known). So far its beemn one persom badly mauled by my husband for each of those years for interfering wqith him and those rights he earned. He is still very attracted to me and tries to have sex with me regularly. In part of my trying to reprogram my thoughts, I am going to decline my first instinct of denigrating men and relationships and instead say: I guess crazier things have happened I guess if GOD intervened and the man made the earth move. I never experienced a sexual trauma, or any other traumas. I was beginning to hate sex. So we are free agents with clear economic boundaries too and no children (both our children are grown up and with other partners). Have you voiced your concerns/feelings to him? I consider myself an Asexual person and that is not something which needs to be fixed.. Your also right that men are very visual, especially when having sex.. unlike women. Or maybe some sort of repressed feelings from before that are not yet able to acknowledge? BM, that was a TOTALLY RIDICULOUS way to address that womans question. WHATEVER shes doing to her boyfriend does NOT EQUATE to a sexual aversion simply because its NOT LIKELY that if she actually has an aversion to sex, that she would do ANYTHING related to it. That is easier said than done, but through counseling we are slowly getting to a place where we can discuss it. Let me know if you have any suggestions. He makes you live a lie in your heart and carry all the weight. I choose to heal in my own way. Many cannot pinpoint any trauma. I did as I was taught and followed the rules and ended up married to a sex avoidant wife. While. I am going threw a similar situation with my husband. It does help to know Im not the only one, though. I have forgiven him but I have not forgotten. like I said, I have this planetary influence that only brings me super bad relationships.. it appears that I am being punished this lifetime. Perhaps separating from the other is best so that they do not suffer. Its such a turn off to me. Perhaps this is the question you need to ask of yourself. leads to disgust with men as a whole.leads to disgust with sexleads to disgust with menso on and so forth. Chills bring an elevated heart rate and are usually felt on the skin. now the girl i married cant feel any pleasure from kissing , touching, or hugging as normal , i was curious why is she doing this, maybe i can relate this article to her problem, ,,. STILL DONT. WebWhy do I feel disgusting sometimes? There is much more than just sex. Second: You state that you expect sex as part of a relationship. WebAnd its started to feel disgusting when he touches my boobs when Im not in the mood. PS: Many of my beginning aversive feelings began with his wanting to try things he saw in Porn that totally turned my stomach. She has a tough time putting her feelings into words, so this helped. Or, maybe they could be Asexual or Demisexual. Now more than 5 years after that we are still struggling along. Anyways, Im looking for advice on how to work through this. He thinks its because of the bad stuff that happened a few years ago, and again it probably has something to do with that of course, but I am constantly telling him No, Ive NEVER been interested. I was a virgin until I met him. As for her not liking to be touched, I agree that is very common. stay single! I must have been a a malicious maniacal rapist or something in a past life because this stuff thats happened to me is karma from a past life. Only within a relationship does my body shut down sexually and I am unable to perform. I know that is unusual but I would. By commenting you acknowledge acceptance of GoodTherapy.org'sTerms and Conditions of Use. There may be days when I feel like this but not month after month or year after year. I left with his mother, and brother driving my husbands blazer to the mid west, he was getting post patrol leave and R and R as my husband went to Banger Washington.
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